Burdened Immigrant
At the young age of seven, I was impersonating my parents negotiating why our bill was higher than last month and missing school to translate for appointments. Needless to say, this experience is not very unique for many others who have come to America for a better life. Many of us like myself have experienced being singled out, feeling different than the rest of the kids in the class making this feeling even more relevant the older you get. The older I got the more I realized how being an immigrant felt like such a burden to my existence. I was always looked at being the problem solver of the household, the one to teach my foreign parents how things in America worked, while literally not knowing a clue.
The burden becomes relevant when your parents want you to get good grades, help raise your younger siblings, pay bills, help with appointments, and the list can go on for pages. I noticed it became even harder once I became a teenager and started wanting to do more things. It was very rare that my parents allowed me to have sleepovers or go to friends’ birthdays that involved going farther than down the street from where we lived, and always having to prioritize my household responsibilities over anything else. It was very different compared to my peers. The shock and confusion that persisted in those around me who did not understand why I had to do the things I had to do for my parents, was astounding. This experience translated into constantly wishing to myself I could live my life more like my peers.
Picture this.
You’re entering your 20’s – the most confusing years of your life, and you’re trying to get your shit together. You’re trying to prioritize yourself and your future, figure out what you plan on doing after college, do things that will benefit you and essentially just be selfish for your future. Boom – you have to do this, oh and do that, also…we have this on Thursday. The list carried on every single week.
That whole getting your shit together was very challenging when you’re the backbone of the household.
This is all to say, yes it can be very difficult being an immigrant and the burden we hold to support those around us can sometimes be so overpowering that we don’t understand why us. This is why us – it makes us well-rounded, knowledgeable individuals who share a unique perspective of watching the closest people to us struggle to figure out life in America. We have the opportunity to change our outcome, and we hold the destination where we aspire to go. The burden has taught me so much I need to know and has challenged me in more ways than I can comprehend, but I wouldn’t change the journey for anything.
The biggest takeaway as someone still in their early 20’s is – Don’t let your burden stop you.
