Immigrant Stories: Generational Trauma
Daniel’s Background -
I am a soccer player, engineer, artist, philosopher, dancer, singer,storyteller, explorer, brother, friend, and son. I’m an amateur at all of those things except for Engineering (I’m a Civil Engineer), which takes up most of my time. Soccer was like blood in my veins when I was younger and I still need it to feel alive. I play at least twice a week and love following professional soccer teams in europe. I own a 136 year old house in heritage hill and I’ve been fixing it up for the past year and half. It’s a huge house that is full of character and I like having it full of people too. I like having my family and friends over to celebrate special occasions and just share time around food and drink.
Lesson Learned Being the Son of an Immigrant -
One thing I’ve learned being the son of an immigrant…… We all need therapy!!! Or at least a wise confidant to work things out with. Speaking for myself, the skills and defense mechanisms my mom (an immigrant and child of a single mother from a terrorist-filled Peru) developed to just be safe in the various relationships and spaces she occupied are not the ones I will use in the spaces and relationships I create. I want to create the most generational wealth I can to pass down to those who come after me, and I want a big part of that wealth to be emotional intelligence. In my late 20’s I found a therapist, and I get hype as #$&* (seriously) learning about myself and the subconscious patterns I’ve developed that are holding me back . I’ve learned the root cause of failure and certain types of emotional vulnerability and how to move through the world as wholly and expressively me. Some of those learnings are tied to the generational trauma in the branches that connect me to my family tree. I hope to prune those branches to produce the healthiest and happiest family tree possible. And to be specific, the best relationships in my given and chosen family.
Coming to the U.S. -
I’d like to start My family’s immigrant story 3 generations ago. Abuelita Maria, my grandmother on my mom’s side, moved her and her family from deep in the jungle to the jungle town of Pucalla, Peru. Abuelita Maria was the sole parent and provider for my mom and her 7 siblings. To give them better opportunities and a better life, she made the move to a new town. My mom had similar ambitions, to provide a better life for her and her family. However, her ambitions included doing what people in her town said was impossible: making it to the United States and becoming a bilingual secretary. She did the impossible and eventually settled near my dad’s hometown, here in Grand Rapids, MI. A generation later, I, and my siblings, are the next step in providing a better life and opportunities for our family. Like so many immigrant parents, my mom pushed for academic success and highly valuable degrees. Now, my siblings and I are the first 4 year college graduates in our family, and I am the first, but not last, engineer in our family tree.
